In order to answer the question of what frightens attorneys, I posted the question on a common list serve. Not a single person responded. I searched Google and Findlaw.com for articles, but nothing was on point. I could have asked some lawyers directly, but that would have generated extra work for me.
So, I decided to “Ask Jeeves” and went to Ask.com. This is what Jeeves said:
- Attorneys fear church insurers;
- Attorneys fear impact of new whistleblower rule;
- Attorneys fear Kuwait repeat in Iraq;
- Attorneys express fear of “CSI Effect;” and
- Attorneys cite fear of torture.
Jeeves didn’t say right out what makes church insurers so scary1 or exactly what kind of torture attorneys are afraid of — perhaps a grilling at the hands of Antonin Scalia — although two attorneys have claimed fear of the court system, according to Jeeves. Thank goodness there are only two!
Well, I cannot say that Jeeves adequately listed my fears as an attorney. Apart from the overriding fear of never finding another paying client, current clients not paying, malpractice claims, general legal ignorance, unintentional ethical violations, crazy psycho ex-spouses of my divorce clients who call me the devil, breach of client confidentiality, being disbarred, and never being able to pay off my student loans, my only real fear is going into trial without having the rules of evidence memorized.
I just finished a 21/2-day divorce trial, which should frighten anyone. As the trial date approached, my anxiety level shot up. And truly my biggest fear was that I would not have the rules of evidence and civil procedure memorized and — gasp — my opposing counsel would.
My effectiveness would be crippled! What if the opposing counsel objected to something other than relevance? What would I say? Would I even know what he was talking about?
I tried to rationalize my fear and let it go. When that did not work, I spent the last few days and evenings before the trial cramming with Karl Tegland’s Courtroom Handbook on Washington Evidence. Thank God for Mr. Tegland and his brilliant explanations and examples!
Was I worried for nothing? Probably. No complicated evidentiary issues came up that I could not handle. My fear dissipated as soon as the trial began, never to reappear during the trial. But, fear resurrects upon the eve of every trial. Never at preliminary hearings, but always before a trial.
As soon as the fear disappears (as it always does when trial begins) another one comes like clockwork. Again, only in trial.
What if I cannot articulate questions to elicit the information the judge needs to hear? What if opposing counsel successfully objects to the questions I ask, even those rephrased several times? What if I lose the case because I was ineffective at direct or cross-examination? What if the judge asks me for an explanation and I don’t have a valid one or, worse, I do not understand the question or how to apply the facts? What if my client lied to me? Or, heaven forbid, what if the questions I prepared, but chose not to ask, would have elicited the information and turned the tide of the case in my client’s favor? Oh, the indigestion! Who needs this kind of stress?
My fears stress me out. Worrying about memorizing the rules of evidence is a little irrational, though I firmly believe all the Super Lawyers have memorized them and that is what sets them apart. The rest of my fears may not be so irrational. How would I know?
Attorneys do not confess their fears. Attorneys do, however, talk about stress. Admitting fear is seen by some as weakness. Admitting to stress in your life is not. Who isn’t stressed about something?
I submit the cause of a lot of the stress attorneys feel is the underlying fear of something. Keep it to yourself if you must, though you are not fooling anyone. I would venture to guess that perhaps your biggest fear is being found out. What if someone finds out you are not what you claim to be, you don’t know as much as you say (or think) you do, you hate conflict or you are afraid of going to court.
Am I articulating anything you have thought about yourself? If so, you are not alone. The fear of being found out is not unique to lawyers, old or new. Take heart though, no one will find you out. As Franklin Roosevelt said in his first inaugural address in 1933, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”2
Thinking these things about yourself creates stress, but does not make it true. If it makes you feel better, I will “out” myself. Hi, my name is Julie. I get nervous before I go to court. I often lose sleep over a hearing and take it personally when I win or lose. I can come up with the most creative “what if” scenarios you have ever heard and wallow in anxiety over them. I fear being found out, too.
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1 Actually, the reference is to a headline on a July 2004 news article, “Attorneys Fear Church Insurers Could Tangle Southern California Settlements,” on InsuranceJournal.com concerning settlements in nearly 700 lawsuits that accused clergy of sexual molestation.
2 “This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
