Have you ever looked at a restaurant and thought, “Who goes there?” Have you ever peered through the windows of a place and thought, “I’m not eating here”? Rumor has it that some of those dives that look too frightening to enter may have some of the best food in town. If not that, they may still offer a unique and memorable dining experience that should not be missed just because you now have the power to subpoena.
Restaurant: Randy’s
(10016 E. Marginal Way S., Seattle)
Tagline: Fearful at night, but not by day
Cuisine: American (traditional)
Meal: Breakfast
Associate Says: At night, Randy’s is a haven for police officers off-duty, musicians after shows, truckers and night workers. Open 24 hours a day, Randy’s is where you would imagine Quentin Tarantino meeting a date or taking his mom.
The food is certainly questionable in preparation — mostly, it’s frozen food warmed — but the pink-and-orange seats and hanging model airplanes do not disappoint in making an interesting and sometimes uncomfortable visit. To soften the impact, we went at 8 a.m. and an adventurous partner ordered the chicken-fried steak.
Partner Says: Randy’s, just south of the Museum of Flight, did not inspire fear. It is a funky mix of nostalgia, combining ’60s Denny’s upholstery with a very strong airplane theme. The service was friendly, but slow. The food did not inspire returning (at least for breakfast, the meal we tried). It is useful to know of this 24-hour establishment, but the only reason to return is for food in the wee hours or if you have a strong interest in the airplane theme.
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Restaurant: Osaka Grill Teriyaki & Deli
(128 Pike Street, Seattle)
Tagline: Scary and cheap
Cuisine: Japanese fast food
Meal: Lunch
Associate Says: When I started working downtown nearly five years ago, a colleague took me to Osaka “Scary” Teriyaki and introduced me to the $4 chicken teriyaki lunch special. What a bargain! We nicknamed it “Scary” for two reasons: (1) appearance — it is in an old building (the upper floors of which have been unoccupied since before the Nisqually earthquake), the exterior is rustic and the interior certainly leaves much ambiance to be desired; and (2) the location — anyone walking near it is sure to encounter many interesting elements of our society and is sure to be solicited for something.
Overall, “Scary” Teriyaki offers good food, has never made me sick (despite my misgivings about its outward appearance), and has only increased the lunch special to $5.50.
Partner Says: I like a good teriyaki place as much as just about anyone. I liked the atmosphere at Osaka and I appreciated being offered an “almost free” shoe shine on my walk there. I arrived at 11:45 a.m., which is the key to not having to wait in line at any good dive.
I ordered the “special,” which is your basic chicken, rice and iceberg lettuce plate. I liked the simple flavor of the teriyaki sauce and the salad dressing, but I thought both were too mild. Osaka needs to spice it up. I also ran into a couple of pieces of gristle during the feast. I hate to be a high-rent snob, but I’d rather pay the extra $1.50 and eat at Happy Teriyaki.
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Restaurant: Paseo Caribbean Restaurant
(4225 Fremont Ave. N., Seattle)
Tagline: Scary outside, delightful inside
Cuisine: Caribbean
Meal: Lunch
Associate Says: Without a recommendation, most would not stop at Paseo to eat, mostly because you would not even know it is a restaurant. There is no sign on the storefront and it looks more like a shack that may blow over in the next windstorm than it looks like a restaurant. (Although, it has improved since the remodel a few years ago.)
That being said, you can frequently find a long line trailing out of this place and occasionally they will run out of bread for their sandwiches. Their sandwiches are life-changing. Once you figure out what this place is, you will definitely be going back.
Partner Says: If you are looking for a lavish restaurant for impressing a client or meeting a large group, Paseo clearly is not for you. You won’t find white tablecloths, a wine list or a wait staff at your beck and call. On the other hand, if you’re looking for the best Caribbean food in town, then you really need to check out Paseo.
The food is extraordinary. I had a “Cuban Roast,” which is a fabulous roasted pork sandwich on a toasted baguette with aioli, cilantro and jalapeños. Beyond a number of interesting sandwich options, Paseo also offers a variety of Caribbean dinners, bowls, salads, greens and rice-and-bean dishes.
So, if you’re in the mood for a Cuban treat and don’t mind bumping into the guy at the next table, Paseo is the place to go. Paseo is nowhere near as scary as it might at first appear. You will be going back.
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Restaurant: Shorty’s
(2222A Second Ave., Seattle)
Tagline: Coulrophobia
Cuisine: American
Meal: Lunch
Associate Says: Shorty’s is a must try. The premise is simple: hot dogs and beer plus crazy clown décor is bound to equal a good time. A fully loaded hot dog always soothes a special place in the heart. And, between the hundreds of clown faces grinning at you and the array of arcade games singing and pinging, it is impossible to get bored while you finish your meal.
If you suffer from coulrophobia — the extreme or irrational fear of clowns — you should probably pass this place up. But, if you’re in the mood for a hot dog with the works and a round of Big Buck Hunter, Shorty’s is the place for you.
Partner Says: I was a little apprehensive about our food excursion when asked if I liked “clowns.” I had to repeat the word several times because I had never associated “clowns” with lunch. Now that I’ve been to Shorty’s, I’m still not sure if I’ll associate “clowns” with food.
The associate led me into a dive bar with an odd clown smoking a cigar on the front window. As we walked inside, it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. Dive bars are not pretty in the daytime. We ordered the short dog, each with special requests to hold this or that. Because it seemed appropriate, we split a beer with our dogs. The total cost for two meals and a beer, $10.75, excluding tip.
We ate outside because I have a personal policy that I do not sit in places where I cannot see what is on the seat. On the “patio,” decorated with several sauerkraut cans, we found the hot dogs tasty, surprisingly so. The beer complemented the lunch perfectly. The best part was that I did not have a food coma stupor in the afternoon, which was expected given the nature of my lunch.
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Restaurant: Yen Wor Village
(2300 California Ave. S.W., Seattle)
Tagline: Turn Around Bright Eyes
Cuisine: Chinese
Meal: Late Night Snacks
Associate Says: “Every now and then I fall apart” and feel the need to have a few drinks and watch my bank teller, checkout clerk and accountant sing Bonnie Tyler songs in a dilapidated Chinese restaurant. Yen Wor is where I satisfy this urge. This is a small bar in the back of a white-and-red Chinese restaurant in West Seattle where the drinks are strong, the clientele is trashy and the singing is spirited, if sometimes obscene.
One of the best parts is that the kitchen stays open late so you can order egg rolls. One of the worst parts is that the kitchen stays open late so you can order egg rolls.
Partner Says: Yen Wor holds a special place in my heart. It’s not for the late night puupuu platter — it’s for the best karaoke in West Seattle. Yen Wor is not for the weak at heart. The bathrooms are really creepy and the staff a little salty, but the drinks are cheap and karaoke is king.
The crowd is a nice mix of regulars (old drunks), 20-somethings and birthday revelers. When you’re not on the stage performing, you can play a game of pool or one of their video “memory” games. And, if you’re ever cold, there’s always an extra coat hanging around to keep you warm.
Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt is a multiservice regional law firm with offices in Seattle, Vancouver, Portland and Bend. For comments on this article or to share your recommendation with the attorneys at Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt, contact Jamila Johnson at jajohnson@schwabe.com or 206-407-1555.
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