“Work/life balance” became a career moniker in the legal industry several years ago. Unfortunately, this standard falsely assumes two things: (a) work is separate from life and (b) a meaningful way to measure it exists. Don’t misunderstand me — a well-rounded, satisfying life is a worthy objective. We just need a methodology likely to achieve it.
Dissecting Work/Life Balance
Work is an integral part of life. Intellectually segregating the two creates an unnatural construct useful only to perform the work/life measurement. I choose to redefine the analysis using the terms “personal” versus “professional” lives. This clarifies the intent and eliminates the obvious non sequitur. However, it doesn’t resolve the other inherent flaws in the paradigm.
Immediate concerns arise when we turn to the measurement system itself. To balance two things, the elements being measured must be juxtaposed. If your personal life is always considered “good” in this balance, then your professional life must necessarily be its opposite — “bad.” The results are: (a) your perception of your professional life is always negative and (b) the best you can hope to achieve is a “balance” between the good and bad in your life. This last consequence is a zero-sum game. Pretty grim, I think.
Another flaw is that life constantly changes. Personal and professional demands on your time ebb and flow. Achieving and maintaining a balance is virtually impossible in this environment. Thus, focusing on an unrealistic goal produces only disappointment. A better approach must be found.
Recently, some have begun to quietly rebel against the balance paradigm. Their collective heads have popped out of the sand and they have begun to examine this notion more closely. Consider this my contribution to dispelling the balance myth and, hopefully, to pointing us all in a more rewarding direction.
Best Laid Plans
Engaging in an exhaustive anthropological analysis of human happiness is beyond the scope of this musing, so we’ll start with the much-maligned Baby Boomer generation. This cohort is often derided for its endless and seemingly addictive commitment to work and rising above. Yet, on closer examination, we find these efforts are well-intended — Boomers want their families to have more and better opportunities than they had. To accomplish this goal, they committed themselves to creating those opportunities. One consequence of their commitment was an absence from home life. Back in the day, the catch phrase was “quality time, not quantity time.”
Fast forward 20 years, as the Boomers’ children (the Millennials) enter the professional ranks, up pops this work/life balance standard. Millennials are talking about spending time with their families and/or not being slaves to work. It seems that the catch phrase could easily be “quality and quantity time.”
The fascinating thing is the two generations share the same value — family life. They only express it differently. We know from experience that endless hours at the office do not produce a satisfactory result. But can increased quantity and quality time away from the office make economic and social sense for all involved?
Current State of Affairs
Professionals operate in the nebula of human interaction. We do not control a large portion of what affects us. We cannot simply shut down the manufacturing line at 5 p.m., grab our lunch boxes and head home. Human interaction occurs every hour of every day and our clients (and others) rely on our expertise and counsel during and outside of business hours.
On the personal side, the new century finds greater sharing of parental responsibilities. Both parents generally work. Children are more engaged outside the home before, during and after school. Commute times are longer. The increased flow of personal information via advanced technology impacts all of us.
Simply stated, the number and influence of factors affecting both our professional and personal lives have made the balancing act far too precarious.
Redefining the Target
Instead of trying to constantly regulate life in a futile attempt to achieve personal/professional balance, embrace the inherent value and irregularity of both your personal and professional lives. I advise my clients to readily accept the stream of events encompassing them. Learning to work with the currents of your professional and personal demands allows you to exert subtle pressure on the flow and align yourself with your personal values — family, integrity, accomplishment, etc.
Here are some specific suggestions to apply to both your professional and personal lives:
Blend Your Life. Seek ways to blend your personal and professional lives to maximize your exposure of both. Include your family in your work and your work with your family. Children especially like to be a part of their parents’ lives, so find ways to encourage and fulfill their interest.
Work is not bad, at least it shouldn’t be. If you are enjoying your work and your loved ones share in that experience, you are providing them quality and quantity time. In addition, the more you enjoy your professional life, the better you perform. The rewards of blending multiply on themselves, instead of offsetting each other — as we saw in the balance paradigm.
Pursue Your Passion. Chase those things that most interest you, while recognizing not everything will be perfect all the time. You are most satisfied with yourself when you are achieving that which is important to you.
This is also the best time to be around the ones you love — when you feel good about yourself and what you are contributing. What better role model could you offer? Note, it’s also very attractive to those with whom you interact professionally.
Manage Yourself. Impose disciplines on yourself to ensure things are well managed. One of the quickest ways to run asunder is to waste your time — both at work and at home. Maintaining a reasonable set of personal and professional disciplines increases your chances of achieving satisfaction.
Be present with your clients and colleagues while working and with your family while at home. Don’t chat idly midday with your college friends. Put your Blackberry away at the dinner table. Simple, self-imposed rules are easy to follow and deliver tremendous value to your life and the lives of those around you.
These suggestions will get you started on redefining the target. Instead of achieving balance and its inherent mediocrity, seek to blend all aspects of your life into a meaningful, productive and satisfying experience.
The Ultimate Reward
Moving beyond artificial constraints placed on you by broken paradigms allows you to achieve more of what matters to you personally. Waking each day to the sense of satisfaction, accomplishment and fulfillment puts you at your best in the office and at home.
Paul Burton is a former corporate finance attorney, software executive and successful dot-commer with an extensive background in professional and organizational development. He works exclusively with lawyers and law firms, providing clients practice building and practice management consulting, training and coaching. You can learn more about Burton and his practice at www.visionmechanix.com. He can be reached at paul@visionmechanix.com.
© 2006 Vision Mechanix
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